Absolutely Normal Chaos Page 14

  He said, “I know.”

  God.

  Then I asked him if he’d take me over to Alex’s after dinner. He said, “Sure,” and he went on upstairs.

  He came down for dinner with a tie on! Everybody started teasing him.

  “Goin’ out with Beth Ann?” Dennis asked.

  “Hot date, huh?” said Dougie.

  “Didn’t know you owned a tie, Carl Ray,” Maggie said.

  But Carl Ray just ate his dinner.

  Then he drove me to Alex’s. He seemed so nervous. I figured Aunt Radene must have really shaken him up by her letter. So I said, “What did your mom have to say?”

  “Oh, stuff.”

  “Yeah. Stuff. Like what?” I get right to the point, don’t I? So much for patience.

  “She told me that I could tell people about my real father if I wanted to. She said she had a long talk with my other father—the Carl Joe one—and he understands now why I was so mad at first and why I had to come up here to find him—the other father. He—Carl Joe was jealous, she said.”

  I counted to ten. “So is it okay for you to tell who your real father is? Can you tell me now? Can you?” He pulled into the Big Boy parking lot and stopped the car. I counted to twenty. I breathed very deeply.

  And then HE SAID IT. He just came right out and said, “Mr. Furtz is my father.”

  Holy cow. Alpha and Omega. All I could say was, “Mr. Furtz?”

  And Carl Ray sat there nodding like an idiot, but all of a sudden he started to cry, and all of a sudden I remembered that Mr. Furtz was dead, and so I started patting Carl Ray on the shoulder. Mr. Furtz! When he calmed down a little, he told me the whole story. If I put it down just as Carl Ray said it, with me in between counting to thirty and forty and fifty and holding my breath, it would take me a whole journal. So I’ll summarize it to the best of my ability.

  Here goes: When Aunt Radene first told Carl Ray that Uncle Carl Joe was not his real father, Carl Ray was really mad. He thought she should have told him sooner. He made her tell him who it really was, and she said it was a man named Charlie Furtz.

  Aunt Radene and Mr. Furtz had been dating for a year when they went to a New Year’s Eve party in Easton. That’s the party my parents talk about, where Uncle Carl Joe and Aunt Radene fell in love “at first sight.” Aunt Radene stopped dating Mr. Furtz and started seeing Uncle Carl Joe and right away they knew they were going to get married. Then Aunt Radene discovered she was pregnant and it was Mr. Furtz’s baby. (Does this sound like a soap opera or what?) But Uncle Carl Joe said it didn’t matter to him. So they got married right away and nobody ever knew that Carl Ray was anybody’s baby but their very own.

  Then, about six months ago, Aunt Radene read an article in a magazine that said you should always tell children if they were adopted, that they had a right to know. Uncle Carl Joe didn’t think she should tell Carl Ray because he wasn’t exactly adopted. Aunt Radene was his real mother, after all. And Uncle Carl Joe said, “What is a father anyway? Isn’t it someone who raises a child as his own?” But Aunt Radene worried and worried and finally she told Carl Ray.

  Are you following this?

  Anyway, she could not have known Carl Ray would go all berserk on her, and that he would insist on knowing who his real father was and where he lived. As soon as Aunt Radene told him it was Charlie Furtz and he lived in Easton (at least she thought he still lived there), Carl Ray said he was going to go find him and no one could stop him. Uncle Carl Joe got mad. That’s when Aunt Radene wrote to my parents asking if Carl Ray could come up here and stay with us awhile.

  “God!” I said. “Did you know Mr. Furtz lived right across the street from us?”

  Carl Ray said no. He had looked in the phone book under Furtz and there was one Charles Furtz, who lived on the other side of Easton. Carl Ray went to that address, but the lady living there said the Furtzes had moved to a bigger house. She wasn’t sure where this bigger house was. He was all depressed, but that very night he came outside when Dennis and I were sitting on the curb, and he heard us say the name Furtz and he couldn’t believe it. He decided it was fate.

  The next day he went to the hardware store and he told Mr. Furtz who he was, and that he was Mr. Furtz’s son.

  “God!” I said. “What’d he say? Was he mad? Did he believe you? God!”

  “He just looked at me a long time and asked me when my birthday was and he thought awhile and said that well, I did look like him a little bit. He wanted to call my mother, but when I said she didn’t have a phone, he said he would write to her. Then he offered me a job—and on the first day of work, he gave me the ring.”

  “It was Mr. Furtz’s ring?” That’s when I realized that Mr. Furtz (Charlie), Uncle Carl Joe, and Carl Ray all have the same initials: C.F.

  Carl Ray nodded. “I didn’t know this then, but my mother had given him that ring a long time ago. That day he went to the doctor, and then to the hospital, and a few days later…” Carl Ray started crying again.

  It was awful. I was crying too.

  Later, Carl Ray said that he only just learned from Mr. Biggers that when Mr. Furtz heard that he had to go into the hospital, he was afraid that he was going to die. He had a premonition. So he contacted Mr. Biggers.

  “The money! The college education! That was from Mr. Furtz?”

  Boy, have I been stupid. I should have guessed this a long time ago. I’ve been so wrapped up in Alex Cheevey that I didn’t see anything right in front of my nose.

  Carl Ray said that yes, it was all from Mr. Furtz, although Mr. Biggers didn’t tell him that at the time. Carl Ray didn’t know that for sure until he went home and told Aunt Radene everything. She was very upset about Mr. Furtz dying. She wished Carl Ray had told her that sooner. He felt real bad about that, I could tell. But Aunt Radene said that would explain the letter she got from Mr. Furtz, saying he wanted to leave something for Carl Ray, and she had written back saying only “You don’t have to.” But apparently Mr. Furtz didn’t get that letter. He was dead already. Mrs. Furtz got it and she didn’t understand it.

  When we got back from West Virginia, Carl Ray went to Mr. Biggers again, and he said he needed to know if it was Mr. Furtz who gave him the money, and Mr. Biggers said he would have to check if he could divulge the name. That’s who called Carl Ray on Sunday. Mr. Biggers. And he said, yes, it was Mr. Furtz who had left Carl Ray the money and all.

  How am I doing? Like I said, this took Carl Ray hours to spit out.

  Sometime in there I asked Carl Ray if he had told Mrs. Furtz any of this, and he said that yes, he told her today.

  “Well, God,” I said. “Was she mad? I bet she was really mad. Wasn’t she? She didn’t even know that you were Mr. Furtz’s son?”

  He said, “Nope. She didn’t know. But I think she was a little relieved.”

  “Relieved?”

  “She said odd things had been happening. First, right after Mr. Furtz died, a letter arrived for him that said, ‘Dear Charlie, You don’t have to. Sincerely, Radene.’ Mrs. Furtz thought he had been seeing some other woman. Then I gave her the ring, and she knew it was Mr. Furtz’s. He had always kept it in this little box on his dresser, and he told her it was from an old girlfriend. He never wore it. She couldn’t figure out how I got it. She thought I stole it. Can you imagine that?”

  “Didn’t she want to know why Mr. Furtz never told her about you?”

  “When I told her that Mr. Furtz only just found out himself—that I was his son—right before he went in the hospital, she said that she knew he would have told her soon enough. And when I got ready to leave, she said, ‘I’m just glad to know that there’s a little more of Charlie left in the world now that he’s gone.’”

  Can you imagine that? It made me cry.

  So. We sat there a long time. I felt real bad for Carl Ray. Why did Mr. Furtz have to die right after Carl Ray found him? Finally, Carl Ray started the car again, and when we pulled into Alex’s driveway, I asked him where he was going, a
ll dressed up. Carl Ray said, “To the cemetery. I want to talk to my—uh, my father.”

  Well, I started bawling like mad, and Carl Ray had to pat me on the shoulder. Then I asked him if he wanted me to come with him, but he said, “Nope.”

  When Alex answered the door, he just stood there. He looked at me as if he’d never seen me before.

  I thought I was going to die. Oh boy, I thought. He doesn’t like me anymore. Then I thought, I look terrible from all this crying and he’s thinking I’m uglier than he remembered. Then I thought, He’s going to tell me it’s all over. We’re finished.

  He seemed so nervous. I thought, Sure, he ought to be nervous. He’s going to tell me it’s all over and maybe he thinks I’ll punch him or something.

  “Come on in,” he said.

  On the antique side of the room was Mrs. Cheevey, and on the modern side was Mr. Cheevey. When they saw us, they jumped up.

  “So who’s going to start?” Mrs. Cheevey said.

  We looked at her. Start what?

  Then Mrs. Cheevey said, “Okay, okay, okay. Let’s start with Mary Kay. Oooh! A rhyme: Okay, Mary Kay. Ha, ha, ha.”

  “It’s Mary Lou,” Alex said.

  Then, all of a sudden, I started talking. I was so upset about Carl Ray, I had to tell someone. So I told them all about Carl Ray and Mr. Furtz. I went on and on and on. I told them everything. They kept saying, “Poor Carl Ray,” and “How astonishing,” and “Poor Mr. Furtz,” and on and on.

  And after I finished babbling away like an idiot, I felt better.

  Then Alex said, “Want to go see my fishing lures?”

  The funny thing is Alex really does have a collection of fishing lures. We went out into the garage to look at them, and then it happened. The Big Event.

  He KISSED me!!!!

  Sighhhhhhhh.

  Right there, in the garage, beside the fishing lures. He just leaned over and kissed me. It was simple as anything. Still, I was glad I had practiced. And you know what? It didn’t taste a bit like chicken.

  Sighhhh.

  After the kiss, we looked at some more fishing lures. It was a little embarrassing, if you want to know the truth. I am sure we were both thinking, Wow! We did it! We kissed. Wow! And there we were saying things like, “Oh that’s a nice lure,” and “Here’s my favorite,” and all that sum and substance. Then, right before we went back into the house, we kissed one more time. I started that one. I figured maybe it was my turn. Is that how it goes?

  Sighhhhhh.

  Finally Mr. Cheevey took me home, and right after I got home, Carl Ray returned and told everybody at my house his whole, long, sad, complicated story.

  I thought they were going to keel over at least a dozen times. Carl Ray didn’t cry again, but everybody kept telling him how sorry they were about Mr. Furtz. It was as if Mr. Furtz had just that very day died all over again. While I was sitting there listening to Carl Ray, I kept looking at my parents and I decided I was going to pay more attention to them from now on. I really am. You know what Carl Ray said? He said, “I’m lucky, actually. I still have a real father.” And we all knew exactly what he meant. Uncle Carl Joe is his real father because, as he says, a father is someone who raises you and takes care of you.

  I kept thinking about this time when I was much younger. I was lying in bed one night, feeling really sick. I must have been moaning or something, because my dad came in the room. I told him my stomach was going crazy. He asked me if I was going to throw up, and when I said, “Maybe,” he said I should sit up. And then, before I could even get to the bathroom, I started throwing up, and do you know what he did? He put his hands out to catch it. I threw up right into his hands. And I remember thinking, even though I was only about seven years old at the time, Wow, only a mother or father would do that.

  And I’m sure Uncle Carl Joe has done lots of things like that for Carl Ray.

  Tuesday, August 7

  I still can hardly believe yesterday. When I woke up this morning, I had to go back and read last night’s journal entry to be sure I hadn’t imagined all of it.

  King of Kings!

  I sure had weird dreams last night. In my dreams, everybody kept getting all mixed up and running together. My father turned into Uncle Carl Joe who turned into Mr. Furtz who turned into Mr. Cheevey. Mrs. Cheevey turned into Mrs. Furtz who turned into Aunt Radene.

  Beth Ann called here a million times today while Carl Ray was at work. She wanted to know where in the world Carl Ray was last night, and she wanted to know how long he was gone and why he didn’t come over to her house and on and on and on. I didn’t tell her any of the news; I figure Carl Ray will do that soon enough. I just said I wasn’t my cousin’s keeper. That made her mad.

  I couldn’t see Alex today (groannnn), but I’ll see him tomorrow.

  Sighhhh.

  Wednesday, August 8

  Saw Alex tonight!!! Brain is complete mush as a result!!!

  Two more kisses.

  I LOVE ALEX CHEEVEY!!!

  Thursday, August 9

  Alpha and Omega, school starts again in three weeks! How did that happen??? Where has summer gone???

  Saw Alex again tonight. Two kisses. Sighhhhhh.

  Friday, August 10

  Couldn’t see Alex today, but he invited me to a picnic with his parents on Sunday. He invited Carl Ray too, but Carl Ray got a letter from his other father, Uncle Carl Joe, and Uncle Carl Joe wants him to go home this weekend. He wants to talk to him.

  I refused one hundred percent to go along with Carl Ray this time. Dennis is going to go. Poor thing. And I am not going to warn him about snappers or Booger Hill or the outhouse. He wouldn’t believe me anyway, and he might as well find out the hard way.

  Beth Ann is a basket case. Carl Ray told her on Tuesday night about Mr. Furtz being his father and all, and Beth Ann called me on Wednesday to ask if it was true. She doesn’t think it’s neat at all. She thinks it’s sort of disgusting, and she told Carl Ray that. So Carl Ray didn’t see her on Wednesday or Thursday.

  So then Beth Ann called me about a million times on Wednesday and Thursday to ask why Carl Ray hadn’t called her. Honestly. When I told her that Carl Ray was going to West Virginia this weekend, she started sniffling. How could he do that? How could he? And on and on.

  Then she told me that she was going to another GGP pajama party on Saturday. I pretended I didn’t hear.

  Then she told me she had seen Derek-the-Di-viiiiine. Remember him? Her old gorgeous boyfriend? She saw him at the A&P. He was with a “tacky” girl in a “tacky” pink sweater and a “tacky” pair of slacks.

  I had this terrible feeling that Beth Ann is the kind who would drop Carl Ray in a minute and go back to Derek-the-Di-viiiiine. She’d better not, that’s all I can say.

  Saturday, August 11

  Oh, dreary day. Raining and pouring outside. Carl Ray and Dennis are gone. Mom made me go through all my old school clothes so she could figure out what I would need for, ugh, school in September.

  I finished the Odyssey today. Sort of a strange ending.

  Sacking the Suitors

  Of course, Odysseus sacks all the suitors and hangs the maids who didn’t conduct themselves very well in his absence. Odysseus’s dog recognizes him before his wife does (honestly!). In fact, Penelope is going to make him sleep by himself until he goes on and on about their bed that he made with his own two hands and all. He goes into every single detail about how he made it, and finally Penelope believes that he is really Odysseus, her husband, and she goes all soppy over him.

  Then, just when you think everything’s happy and peachy again, a bunch of the suitors’ relatives come to battle with Odysseus. More bloody battles, until Athene swoops down and says, basically, “Quit fighting or Zeus is going to be mad,” and so they stop and that’s the end.

  I was sort of sorry it was over, to tell you the truth. No more rosy-fingered Dawn and swooping Athene and one-eyed monsters and disguises and revelations. Sigh.

  I’v
e started calling Alex “Poseidon (King of the Sea),” because of his fishing lures and all. The only thing is, ole Poseidon doesn’t have a girlfriend (like Antony and Cleopatra, etc.), so Alex was having trouble trying to think up a nickname for me. I told him I wouldn’t mind being called “Athene,” because, after all, she is a goddess. Heh.

  Sunday, August 12

  My brain is three hundred percent mush—partly from being with Alex and partly from being with the Cheeveys all day. I’ll tell about it tomorrow.

  Monday, August 13

  So. I’ll start with yesterday. Lordie, Lordie.

  We all went to Windy Rock. Alex and I took a long walk and climbed up to the actual Windy Rock. We found a place in the grass, and it was so nice there just sitting in the grass, with this little wind blowing all around us and the sky real clear and the sun warm on our arms and legs.

  Sighhhhh.

  So, let’s see. Carl Ray and Dennis got back from their trip. You should have heard Dennis talking about it. He liked the outhouse just about as much as I did, and while he was there, he went swimming in the swimming hole and Lee Bob scared him talking about the “snapper,” and sure enough, John Roy took Dennis up Booger Hill, and sure enough, John Roy took him all the way up to the cabin, and sure enough, when they got there John Roy started screaming, “Convict!” and took off and Dennis got lost. Dennis also said that Carl Ray drove like a maniac and they were lucky to get home alive. Does all of this sound familiar?

  I asked Carl Ray about his father (the Uncle Carl Joe one). He said everything was much, much better. Carl Ray told Uncle Carl Joe what he had told us about being lucky that he still had a real father. And Uncle Carl Joe said he was happy to hear that and he would always be there when Carl Ray needed him.

  Then Carl Ray wanted to know if Beth Ann had called, so I told him all about her eight million calls. Carl Ray went to the cemetery again last night, and he must have come home very late, because I didn’t even hear him come in.

  At dinner tonight, Carl Ray casually mentioned that Mrs. Furtz had asked him if he would like to live with them.